Ohana
by SkylarTenoh
Summary: Modern Elsanna AU, no incest. Anna's mother is dying, and Elsa is a guest pianist who happened to be at the right place and the right time when Anna has a meltdown. May contain triggers. And angst. Planned 5-shot
1. Chapter 1 Angst

A/N: I don't own Disney, Frozen, nor its characters. There might also be triggers for issues pertaining to death/ illness of a loved one. Don't read it if you will be triggered, this is just me getting today out of my system. It will also be an Elsanna story without the incest so. Yep.

**27 April 2014**

To his credit, Dr Kai appeared to be truly, sincerely regretful.

"I'm sorry, Kristoff, Anna," He nodded to them in turn, "But your mother's heart is too weak for haemodialysis, and because of her recent fall, her peritoneal cavity is too damaged for any type of effective treatment. At this stage, there is little to nothing we can do for your mother now."

Kristoff massaged his nape, his huge, calloused hands digging carelessly into his skin, leaving red blushes behind. "So…?"

" We'll carry on with her regular treatment, only we'll intensify the regime, but at this stage, there's little to nothing we can do to effectively purge the required amount of toxins from her body, and water will build up in her lungs and heart, making it only a matter of time before…" Kai trailed off, but no one in the room misunderstood his words.

Kristoff took a deep breath and exhaled, raising his head to face the heavens, as if to ask them "…Why?"

Kai's eyes were soft and sympathetic as he studied the uncharacteristically silent and still Anna, and the obviously distressed Kristoff. "We'll do our best, but I'm giving it a maximum of two months… and that is me being optimistic. And… It's going to be painful."

For Anna, the words were heard, but she refused to accept the message's import. She… didn't want to. She just focused her gaze on her fingernails, trying to block out the words, trying not to _think._

Kristoff, on the other hand, was groaning, rubbing his face with his hands. Silence reigned for minutes.

"Then, about the payment…"

Kai smiled and shook his head. "Ever the responsible elder brother, Kristoff. But don't worry about that. I'm not about to see my best friend's children starve themselves to death to pay for their mother's medical fees. Leave them to me. You just focus on supporting your sister, okay?" Kai rubbed his palm along his stubble. "Geez, I'm offended. I _am _your godfather, you know?"

Kristoff hung his head, lethargic gratitude practically rolling off him in waves. "Thank you, Uncle Kai."

Kai surveyed the soon-to-be orphaned siblings and waved his hand dismissively. "Run along now, I'm sure I've given you two enough to think and talk about." Kai stood, and the Bjorgman siblings followed him to the doorway.

_That's the point. I don't want to think._

"Remember, if you ever need anything, my phone and door is always open. I am your mother's principal doctor, but I also am your godfather, never forget that."

Anna felt a surge of thankful affection for this kind, steady man swell up within her, and without a word, she rushed forward to hug him, willing her tears to not fall. She swallowed hard, keeping her eyes tightly shut as Kai returned the embrace.

"There, everything is going to be okay."

_No, it's not._

But Anna just nodded and strode out of Kai's office with Kristoff. They plodded silently along the long corridor, halting when they came to a cross road. To the left were the lifts that will bring Kristoff to his old, run-down truck, and the right led to the wards, where Anna needed to be taking care of their Mother while Kristoff headed to work.

"Is it okay if you watch over Mops while I go to work?" Kristoff asked.

Anna nodded, eyes trained on the warm beige, waxed linoleum floors. Kristoff sighed and pulled her into a warm embrace.

"Hey kiddo, it'll be okay. We have each other, alright?" Kristoff stroked Anna's hair softly. "We'll get through this… together. We'll be alright."

It would have been convincing if Kristoff hadn't sounded as if he was trying to persuade _himself._

Nonetheless, Anna nodded into his chest. Kristoff would have had enough on his plate without worrying about his baby sister's emotions. Kristoff was now the sole breadwinner who was paying for not only their living expenses, but for Anna's college expenses. As Anna's free time was spent looking after their mother, there was little she could do to help supplement their income. Money was tight, but they both agreed that time with their mother was now tighter.

Kristoff had enough troubles without worrying about Anna.

"You're the best brother I can ever ask for, you know?" Anna gripped her brother tighter.

_It's just you and me, bro._

But the time to let go of the embrace came.

"I'm gonna be late. I'll see you later, my little minion." Kristoff ruffled Anna's already messy braids and headed towards the lifts.

"You're working at night, and you're calling 5pm late?" Anna watched as the lifts pinged and Kristoff strolled in, smiling sheepishly and waving at Anna.

Anna forced a smile and overcompensated, looking slightly demented while waving back.

The minute Kristoff disappeared from view, the smile slid off her face faster than hypothetical chocolate that was placed in front of her. Her palms came up to cover her face.

_What are we gonna do?_

Anna took a deep breath, pasted a smile on her face, and proceeded to hop down the hallway to the wards, each hop draining her even more.

"Hey Mops! How are you feeling today?" Anna chirped brightly, plopping her bag on the floor and almost crashing into the seat next to her mother's bed. Anna's eyes scanned through Kirsten's patient information:

Kirsten Bjorgman, Fall prevention, Fluid restriction, Renal and diabetic diet.

Then Anna's eyes found Kirsten. The hospital clothes were too large for her, and hung off her frame like a blanket. Her skin hung off her bones, and her face was yellow and sallow.

Her mother looked so… small, literally like a bag of bones.

Anna refused to allow the smile on her face to be defeated.

"How else can I feel when I'm warded in the hospital, Anna…?" Kirsten's answer was weary, embittered.

The stone in Anna's stomach grew heavier, threatening to drag the edges of her lips down, but her smile never faltered. "Well, I brought you a teddy bear, his name is Todd and…"

Her mother mumbled something incomprehensible.

Anna frowned slightly and leaned in closer to her mother. "Sorry, Mops, didn't catch that. What did you say?"

"WATER, I WANT WATER! HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF BEFORE I FINALLY GET SOME?!"

Anna jumped, wincing as her left eardrum protested against such abuse. "R-right! W-water!" Anna could feel all eyes on them from her mother's outburst. "I'll… I'll be right back!"

Kirsten murmured something like "Stuttering idiot" as Anna hurried away to ask for a glass of water, tears already pooling at her eyes. The nurses all glanced at her sympathetically. The head nurse, a kind, portly woman named Gerda, placed a hand on Anna's shaking shoulder and handed her a small glass of water.

"Bear with her, Anna ... I'm sure she's still in there somewhere, dear."

Anna smiled at Gerda, wiping the tears from her eyes. She took the proffered glass of water from Gerda and headed back to her mother, who was waiting anxiously for her.

"I- I'm sorry, Anna… I don't know what came over me… I…"

"Sh… It's okay Mom, I understand." Anna said softly, and handed Kirsten her water. Kirsten's eyes shone with gratitude and apology.

After drinking her water, Kirsten fell into an easy sleep. Anna watched her frail mother sleep and compared the woman in front of her to the mother that she knew; the gentle, vibrant, occasionally feisty mother that brought Kristoff and her up single handedly… and it was too much for Anna to handle.

Her throat clogged up and tears sprang unbidden to her eyes. Anna scooped her bag up and left the ward, her feet flying through the hospital, trained through practice to find what Anna was searching for, a small café located just off the atrium, where a pure white, concert grand piano stood proudly in its full glory. There were chairs already arranged, and people already pooling around to see what the buzz was about.

Anna just ducked into the café. Ordering a sandwich and a hot chocolate, Anna found a small corner that overlooked the atrium and sat down, pulling up her homework and started on catching up on her work.

People came and went. There was feedback and static from the preparations in the atrium, and it grated against Anna's concentration. The more Anna tried to concentrate on her work, the more she thought about the events of the past week and Dr Kai's words: _Dialysis…not effective… water in heart, lungs… heart too weak…_

_Her mother was going to die!_

Anna loosed a great grunt of frustration. Slamming her textbook shut, she crammed the darned thing into her haversack. She stuffed her remainder of her sandwich into her mouth and downed her no-longer-hot chocolate in three hearty gulps.

_Heck, if the stupid performance is going to affect my concentration, it might as well have all of it!_

Swinging her bag onto her back, Anna huffed and strode out of the café and into the atrium. She dropped her bag onto the floor and plonked onto a chair, ignoring the jarring squeal of the chair on the floor, and crossed her arms, waiting for the performance to begin.

That was the curious thing about hospitals, was that people are so caught up in their own troubles to care about others, so while her frustration attracted attention, no one offered help. Not a smile, not a word of concern.

Anna hated moments like these. When she wanted to be left alone but felt so lonely that she wanted the comfort of _strangers_.

Anna wanted to scream.

_It's my fault… it's just all my fault…_

Anna buried her face in her hands, _propping_ her elbows on her knees.

There was a light smattering of applause. Anna could feel tears leaking past her control for the third time in two hours.

_Great, just great. I'm having a meltdown in the middle of the atrium._

Then gentle notes of a piano filled the air even as Anna cried, no longer caring who, or if anyone, saw her. The melody, an elegant song full of soft hope, did nothing to comfort Anna, who continued weeping into her own hands.

The pianist, though, was highly skilled. As if sensing Anna's anguish (which was no surprise, given that Anna was making sounds a wounded animal might be proud of), the pianist transitioned flawlessly from one song to another. Each song providing a calm to Anna's raging storm within, tempering it, moderating Anna's agony, until Anna's wrecking sobs were reduced to slight tremors.

The concert lasted for an hour, but Anna wasn't quite aware—nor did she care. The pianist never stopped, as if wanting to provide all the comfort possible. The music stopped, and the MCs thanked the artist once again, and Anna could hear the gathered audience dispersing, until the atrium, once again, sounded empty.

Through her sobs, Anna gave a choked, bitter laugh. That was the ugliness of humans. Not a single soul (except the pianist, but then again it could have been Anna's imagination) offered Anna solace. Even if they did, it did nothing to assuage the fact that

She. Was. Alone.

She couldn't confide in Kristoff—it was unfair to emotionally unload on him when Kristoff was going through what she was… perhaps more. And Kristoff is already so strong, keeping the both of them afloat financially.

It was Anna who was the screwed up one. All she had to do was to take care of her mother, so there was no justification to feel as crappy as she did now… Anna was hit by a sudden realisation:

She wasn't strong enough.

Another wave of self-loathing overcame Anna, and the sobs came back, stronger than ever.

_My mother is going to die. She is going to suffer, and she is going to die. It's all my fault, and I'm not strong enough to deal with it. _

Anna curled up into a ball, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Hey." A hand descended upon her shoulder.

Anna looked up for the first time since she entered the atrium… into beautiful, ice-blue eyes.

A/N: There you have it. Angst. Inspired by a piece of my soul. I guess, I just needed to get it out of my system. And for those of you out there who experienced the above… Hey, you're not alone. And yes, this is inspired by real life. Mine.

Yep, my mother almost died today. Her blood glucose was so low it couldn't be read by the blood glucose count. Yes, an ambulance was called, and yes, she was unconscious for a while. I still don't know how I feel about all this. I honestly don't want to know, because my emotions often scare the shit out of me.

I'm sorry if this chapter is a little incoherent. I'm still not really over the shock and it's currently 3am, so… forgive me.

Here are the medical terminologies:

Renal: pertaining to the kidneys.

Haemodialysis: A process where toxins in the body are removed through the blood. Used in patients with kidney failure.

Peritoneal dialysis: A dialysis whereby a fluid is pumped into one's peritoneal cavity (the space in between our organs) and toxins are drawn out through osmosis.


	2. Chapter 2 Humiliation & Lesbianic Urges

A/N: Thank you for all your support for the last chapter. Again, don't own Frozen nor it's characters. My OCs suck so they are of no value to me even though it's mine. Huh. Enjoy!

* * *

**A few days ago:**

"Are you ready?!" Anna hopped up and down on the spot, eager to get the _feast_ going. "Moppy Moop," Anna warned when she spied Kirsten bracing herself to stand, "You just be a good girl and let Toffy and I do all the work!"

"It's _Kristoff!"_

Anna just chucked some flour into her brother's surprised face and laughed heartily.

Kirsten giggled at her daughter's pet names for her (From Mops to Moppy Moop? Really?) and chuckled when her two beloved children started an impromptu flour fight.

"Children, play nice. You'll have to clean up the mess later. You know that, right?" Kirsten's laugh suddenly turned into a coughing fit and both children stopped to pat gently her on the back. Kristoff went to fetch a glass of water for Kirsten.

Kirsten marvelled at how lucky she was to have such beautiful, kind, caring and responsible children. She knew every mother would praise their children to the skies, but Anna and Kristoff really were… exceptional. She waved off the glass of water and gestured for Anna… to bring her to the bathroom.

Kirsten's uplifted mood plunged like a roller coaster; she almost cringed her heart sunk to somewhere near her stomach.

She _hated _needing to… need help. Besides being a financial burden of Kristoff, who started off his adult career already in debt, and probably had to work for the rest of his life paying off the debt incurred by her medical fees and Anna's tuition fees, she also was an emotional drain on the two of her children who had to look after her on top of the stresses of their everyday lives. Her condition, caused partially genetics and a result of her pushing herself too hard to provide for her two children in her early years, was chronic and was not going to improve in the upcoming years; which meant that her bills were only going to increase, and she was going to be a bigger burden than she already was.

Parents were meant to look after their children, not the other way round...

Sometimes, she just wished that her end would come fast so Anna and Kristoff could be left in peace.

"Here we are!" Anna's peppy voice dragged her out of her cesspit of self-pity. Honestly, can Anna get any _more_ annoyingly cheerful? The sky can fall on Anna's head and she'll still be laughing and playing in the clouds... but that was her darling daughter.

Kirsten watched as Anna locked her wheelchair and clutched Kirsten's biceps to help her up. "Careful, now." Kirsten shrugged off Anna's helping hand and came to a shaky stand.

"I can _stand_, Anna." Her voice was harsher than Kirsten meant it to be

"O-okay! I'll- I'll be waiting here…" Anna smiled slightly. Kirsten felt her annoyance rise up within her as she hobbled into the washroom, clutching the doorframe for support. Turning, she started to drop her pants and adult diapers only to find Anna's concerned eyes on hers.

Humiliation made Kirsten irrational. "Do you want to stand and watch me!"

Anna jumped, instantly backpedalling, a look of utmost horror on her face. "N- No! Of course not! I was just worried that you might… Sorry!" Anna all but slammed the door, and Kirsten got her fingers away from the doorframe _just_ in time to avoid getting her fingers chopped off by the door.

Immediately, Kirsten's rage subsided and she sighed heavily with guilt, shaking her head. What was _wrong_ with her? Anna was only concerned...

_I'm sorry, Anna. I… really don't know what's wrong with me. _

That was a lie. Kirsten knew she was being an absolute bitch to her absolutely wonderful daughter.

Kirsten was so occupied with her self-deprecating thoughts that she missed the small puddle on the bathroom floor and her world tilted, she reached out with an arm to stop her fall but only managed to bruise or break it. The heavy solution for her dialysis in her tummy sloshed around as her abdomen crashed against the basin and she could feel the displaced solution _ripping_ something inside her. She could only manage a weak scream for help as her head bounced off the tiles on the bathroom floor.

Anna crashed through the door, eyes wide with fear, and a scream for Kristoff upon her lips, her face a mask of worry and shock.

Kirsten sighed and blacked out.

Sometimes, Kirsten wanted the burden that was her to be stripped from Kristoff and Anna's world. Most other times, however, Kirsten had problems letting her children fend for themselves in this cold, cruel world.

* * *

**Present:**

"It's all my fault…" The redhead murmured brokenly into her hands. Elsa's very being filled with pity, and she drew the sobbing girl into Elsa's arms sighing, her eyebrows scrunched together. The hospital was full of pain, not only in the sick and injured, but most importantly also amongst the family members… Elsa knew from experience that the family members usually got the brunt of the emotional pain… If only others could see it… and this girl was… so _alone_ in her suffering.

"Hey, hush now… nobody wanted any of this to happen."

A sarcastic voice in Elsa's mind chose this time to pipe up, _like you know what you're talking about, you idiot. _

The more reasonable part of her replied, _It's true! If she's crying this bad, I'm pretty sure she didn't do anything intentionally…_

Elsa really had to work on her inner monologues.

The girl in her arms just cried harder. "If only I'd followed her inside… Who cares about humiliation? She was so weak!"

The redhead's anguish unexpectedly took a turn into self-blaming anger.

"Now she's dying, my _mom _is going to die, slowly, painfully, and it's all _my_ fault. If… If only I'd done more, been more caring and not let her anger get to me…I'm so _useless!_"

Heart wrenching sobs filled the half empty atrium again, and Elsa was at a loss for words. She knew nothing about this stranger…. How can she try fixing someone she didn't even know?

So Elsa just held the girl awkwardly as she snuffled against Elsa's white oxford shirt. Elsa mentally cringed at how wet her shirt was becoming… and wondered how much of that wetness was…snot.

_Really, Elsa? Really? She's bawling her eyes out and you're worrying about your shirt?_

"So-sorry. Your shirt is—it's all…"

_Shit, has she been listening to my thoughts? Can you hear this?_

"I'm sorry… I… I'm such a mess that I can't—"

Elsa hushed her rambling. "That's okay."

…_And the fact that you cannot hear my thoughts is very, very good, because I am currently kind of turned on by the fact that your face is in my—_

"Boobs." The girl in her embrace froze quite literally.

Elsa's heart stopped, then hammered in her chest with newfound force, begging to be released. For heaven's sake, had she chosen, out of all the people she could potentially have comforted, someone who could read _minds_?

The ginger leapt out of Elsa's arms with disappointing vigour. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! My face was in your boobs all this time! You must have felt so weirded out when I was feeling so comfortable! Well, not it's not like I _wanted _to take advantage of you but your boobs are just so nice to snuggle against… Wait, what?"

It took all of Elsa's composure to not set the atrium alight with her laughter. The poor girl was already flaming red with mortification, blushing all the way to the roots of her strawberry blond, almost ginger hair.

This girl is adorable, to say the least, but there still was the issue of whether she could read minds.

The girl's, clear (albeit bloodshot) aquamarine eyes began to fill with water. "I'm… I'm sorry… I just can't do anything right, can I? I'm scaring away the only person kind enough to comfort a stranger because I can't keep my lesbianic hormones under control…"

With a start, Elsa realised that she'd been staring at Anna in what apparently was a harsh glare. She really ought to control her facial features more. Elsa hurried to explain herself. "N-No! No, no. I'm not angry or scared of you. I was just… surprised at your sudden movements."

The running tap that was the other girl's eyes turned on again, and tears flowed freely from the twin aquamarine orbs. "So you're not afraid of me being a lesbian?"

Elsa smirked, quirking her eyebrows. "Oh, of course not. You can say that I have…Lesbianic… urges as well…"

The younger girl gave a watery chuckle. "Why... why are you so kind? I… I'm sorry… I don't think these leaky taps are going to stop anytime soon," She sniffled, "and you're so kind to… to hug a random stranger." She looked at Elsa longingly.

Elsa opened her arms invitingly. "If you want to…"

The girl threw herself into Elsa's open arms and hugged her tight, face planted into Elsa's cleavage again.

Elsa suppressed a pleased hum, choosing instead to admire and stroke the strawberry blonde hair as the girl blubbered into her chest.

"You know… I never got your name."

A strangled cry ululated from somewhere near her sternum, sounding somewhat like a demonic exclamation.

"What?"

"Uh-nuh."

"Uh-nuh?" Elsa's brow creased in confusion.

The girl tried to calm her sniffles, whispering "Anna" before going back to her incessant sobfest in Elsa's chest.

"Ah…" Elsa smiled. What an adorable name for a cute little dork. "Hello, Anna. I'm Elsa."

"Uh-lo Elsa."

This time, Elsa was impressed with how well Anna pronounced her name. It made her smile. Guiding them to a seat, Elsa sat down and cradled the little girl on her lap. They sat in silence (Well, however silent it could get with Anna making the sounds of a wailing goose) and relative peace until Anna's intense sobs calmed down.

Elsa chose this moment to speak. "Anna?"

Anna hummed in acknowledgement.

"Would you and your… mother, and your other family members have time at around 3 in the afternoon tomorrow?"

Anna thought for a while, then stared up at Elsa with -unintentionally- puppy eyes. "Yeah, I guess so…Why?"

"I…" Elsa cleared her throat, suddenly nervous. "I will still be playing here tomorrow, so would you and your family like to hear me play? It… it might cheer your mother up…"

"Play? What would you play in here? I don't think they'll allow intense ball games or anything in the hospital, you know?"

Elsa might have fallen in love with this daft, puppy-eyed dork right then and there.

_Conceal. Anna needs comfort, not your raging hormones. _Instead, she chose to chuckle nonchalantly and say, "You know, that isn't very flattering. You were the only one who sat through my entire concert and you didn't know it was me?"

Anna's jaw dropped, and so did Elsa's control.

Peals of laughter bounced off hospital walls, making passers-by stop to listen at its melodic harmony.

* * *

A/N:

Thanks for sticking with me guys. Slightly happier chapter, cause that's what I am; slightly happier. Not quite fixed, but not as broken. So. We have reached chapter 2 of Ohana. I mean to go through different POVs to cover how a death, and looking after someone who is chronically ill, affects different people. How it affects an OHANA. (Gettit gettit?) This chapter, as you can tell, was from Kirsten's and Elsa's POV. A little OOC, I know. But I'm sorry. This Elsa... needs to be slightly chirpier than Anna to help her out so... yeah. I'm sorry if I butchered Elsa for you guys. I still love her though. It's just that my writing skills are kinda crappy, especially when it comes to characterisation so...

I just wanted to thank you guys for all the support in the previous chapter. To clear up some misconceptions, no, my mother is not dead, she just had a really close call, and that, coupled with the fresh memory of my grandmother's sudden (actually, maybe not) death in February, triggered some really... nasty demons inside me, and that provided the inspiration for this fic: the emotional upheaval of looking after someone who is really ill (and will not get better) as well as a death in the family. I took some creative liberties with this fic (I'm going to combine my grandma's death and my mother's illnesses- andI don't have a brother but I have a father.) but yes, it is kinda based on my life, my feelings and thoughts.

Interesting fact: my late grandmother was in the same ward as my mother the night she passed away. On the dark side, there was a certain cosmic irony. On the bright side... Hey! I saved some transportation fees.

The previous chapter was inspired by a true life event. There was a mini concert at the hospital where my mother was hospitalised and I just broke down. Nobody cared about me though. And sadly, there was no overly peppy Elsa to comfort me either. I did take comfort in the pianist's work though. But I just have to say that I am quite disillusioned about humans and how much we DON'T care about others. Which is ironic considering that I was in a hospital full of caregivers... Huh. Sorry. Like Anna, I tend to ramble really awkwardly... until next time!

**Answers to reviews:**

**Patoru:** Thank you. Haha. This really means a lot to me. Don't be sad that you don't know anything to say because I can feel the comfort you are trying to provide over the internet. It's easy to express thoughts but not emotions through text, and I totally understand that. And thank you, because out of the entire atrium of people who knew I was crying, nobody offered me anything. But you, even though you might be a gazillion miles away, actually offered some comfort and I seriously appreciate that. Yep. Times like this and there's nothing else to do but be strong.

**Guest 1:** "Mops" is a pet name that I use to call my mother instead of "Mum". My dad is "Pops" so "Mops" just came easily. Naturally, I can envision Anna calling her mother all sorts of pet names too. Thank you for your concern. My Mum is doing much better now, although she's still kinda grumpy and all. Ek.

**Guest 2:** Thanks! :D I like you too!


	3. Chapter 3 Calls

A/N: I do not own Frozen nor it's characters. Enjoy this relatively light-hearted chapter… while you can. ;) I apologise for the wait (writer's block- i hate writing in Kristoff's perspective cause I can't get into his head), and thank you all for your kind words of encouragement, follows, and favourites. I will answer the reviews to last chapter along with the reviews with this chapter because honestly it's 2am now and after a day of tapping this out and editing it, I'm kinda brainfried. AYYYYY ONWARD WITH THE PLOT.

* * *

Kristoff jumped a foot in the air when his phone rang. Normally, his phone was set to be perpetually silent, with three sole exceptions of Anna, the hospital (or Kai), and his mother's numbers. His phone rang only for them, because these were the three most important numbers that he would receive a call from.

Anna's happy, smiling face grinned at him when he checked the screen.

Anna.

Anna was calling him.

Dread, cold and undiluted, flooded his system; chilling him to the bone and setting it on fire simultaneously. Kristoff continued to stare at the screen as he contemplated the various reasons she could be calling. Gone were the happier days where she called just to tease him just because she missed her big brother. Gone was that spunky, spontaneous, 'I wanna do it, and I gotta do it _now!' ,_ Anna who had so much drive to accomplish whatever she set out to do. Anna these days was… barely holding everything together by the seams.

As they both were.

"It's Anna. Just pick it up already." Sven, his best friend and colleague, smiled encouragingly at Kristoff. That's the thing about having family members with critical condition; there are small side effects that come with it.

You dread getting calls at weird times. It usually means that something bad has happened. You don't want to receive it, but you have to. You want to run away, hand clamped over your ears like a petulant child screaming, "I don't want to pick up!", but… you had to. Kristoff had to. He was the eldest child, the man of the family since he was five… He could not run. He had to be responsible, because if he didn't… the ones to suffer will be the people he loved more than the world itself.

_Was there a term to name an unnatural fear of calls at weird times of the day? Callophobia?_

Kristoff picked the call up. "Anna?"

"Hey Toffy..." Anna's voice was hoarse, probably from crying.

_Wait. No, no no no no no…_ Was it possible for his heart to sink any lower?

"Anna, what's wrong? Why are you calling?" Panic was starting to set in, leaking through his voice. He stood up, already grabbing his suitcase.

"N-Nothing! I'm sorry for calling at this really weird time, I just… miss you, Toffy…"

Kristoff smacked himself on the forehead. That's right. When was the last time they had a conversation between themselves that did not include things to do with… the situation at home? Kristoff's pent up breath whooshed out with the panic, leaving nothing but sweet relief. The dirty blonde man sat back down, giving Sven a thumbs up as reply to his concerned gaze. Sven turned back to his work.

Kristoff's voice was gentle when he replied. "It's okay, little one. How are you?"

"I'm good! I'm awesome! Elsa just left. She stayed awhile but she had to go because she has commitments early tomorrow." Anna's voice sounded a tad bit more cheerful when she spoke of…

"Wait… Elsa?" Kristoff held his phone to his ear by his shoulder and started typing away at the laptop in front of him.

"Uh…" Anna sounded exceptionally guilty. "Well, we met in the atrium of the hospital today and we really hit it off because she's such a sweet person who comforts crying strangers and then brings them for a spin in her awesomely incredible Audi R8 Spyder convertible—which was royal freaking purple for heaven's sake- because they still were really distraught, and _then _sends them home because it was late and then offers to stay awhile because I was feeling unbelievably lonely…"

Kristoff's fingers stopped in their tracks as he blinked at her verbal diarrhoea, trying to process all that information at once and failing miserably. "Anna, I'm not sure if you're rambling or you're gushing…" Kristoff deadpanned. "… but what did we talk about bringing strangers home when we've only _just met them?"_

"But she's…!"

"No buts, Anna." Kristoff said sternly. "This Elsa chick could be a freak if she—"

"Elsa is not a freak! She's the nicest, gentlest, warmest person I've ever met!" Kristoff could literally hear Anna huff over her end.

"And the next thing you know, you'll be impaled by a stranger with ice for a heart." Kristoff punctuated that with a smug smirk.

"Kristoffer Samuel Bjorgman!" Ah, his full name. _Now_ Anna was pissed. "Don't say that about Elsa! You haven't even met her! Now I almost regret calling to ask if you are going to be free at three in the afternoon tomorrow…"

"Are you going to have a ballet concert?" Kristoff quipped.

"No, the lovely and _kind_ Elsa invited you for her concert. Actually our whole family is invited."

"You sure it's not a ploy for Vlad the Impaler to do us all in?"

"KRISTOFFER!" Anna screamed into the phone. "SHE'S MY FRIEND AND YOU BETTER GET USED TO HER OR ELSE!"

Kristoff held his phone inches away from his ear, smiling to himself. "All right, all right, feistypants, I'll be there. Geez, keep your socks on, you angry cupcake. Then I'll see if this Elsa is up to any mischief."

Only after Kristoff hung up did he realise that Anna had just effectively told him that she was lonely and had been crying in the hospital's atrium alone… Which begged the question: where _had_ he been for his sister when the little cupcake needed his emotional support the most?

Guess even little suns had their time off too.

* * *

Anna was gushing – really gushing, she didn't think she was able to even talk more than what she usually did—but Anna could not control herself, and Kirsten was fixing her daughter with a surprised, if amused stare. This was the first time in a week or so when she actually was able to get out of bed and go _somewhere—_even if it still was technically in the hospital.

Anna was bouncing in her seat, restless and scanning the atrium. "Where's Toffy?"

Kirsten was surveying her daughter silently, with knowing eyes and a slight amount of amusement.

"I'm gonna kill him if he's late!" Anna huffed. The mother and daughter had arrived at the atrium, half an hour before the start of the concert, seated right in front of the gorgeous white grand piano.

"Hey feistypants. Who're you going to kill? Or who do I have to kill on your behalf?" Kristoff slumped into the seat next to Anna, stretching out luxuriously and running a hand through his unruly blonde hair. "Hi Mom. How are you feeling?"

Before Kirsten could get a word in, however, Anna accused Kristoff in the loudest and most severe tone she could muster.

"Thank goodness you're here! I can't belief that you are so late!"

Kristoff checked his watch for dramatic purposes. "Anna, it's ten minutes to three. I am actually EARLY."

Anna pouted. "Pfft. For once, Toffy."

"So," Kristoff said. "We shall finally see what the fuss over this Elsie chick is."

Anna nearly growled with vehemence. "It's _Elsa, ELSA. _And she's remarkable._"_

Kristoff smirked. "Oh, really? What's her favourite food?"

"Probably chocolate."

"Best friend's name?

"Anna Bjorgman." There was no hesitation in Anna's voice.

Kristoff raised an eyebrow. "Cocky, aren't you? Shoe size?"

Anna shrugged. "Who cares, she has gorgeous feet."

"How do you know, have you seen her feet?"

"Yeah, I saw it when she took off her shoes and entered our hous—" Anna cut herself off as Kirsten's face whipped around to glare at Anna, and she could hear Kristoff chuckling smugly.

"You mean to say," Kirsten hissed. "That this mysterious pianist that you've known for a _day _has already stepped into our _house?!"_

Anna bit her lower lip, looking ashamed and everywhere except Kirsten. She nodded.

"Anna!" Kirsten explosively sighed in exasperation. "How many times do I have to tell you to not bring strangers into our house? Especially not people that you have _just _met?!"

"But! She can't be a bad person! It's just… not possible! You don't understand! You won't be able to understand until you _see _her!"

_And the silence in the house is so… deafening sometimes. I feel so small when there's nobody at home but me… I just want someone there with me… is it too much to ask?_

In the depths of all her thoughts, Anna missed what her mother was saying until she caught the words, "You definitely got it bad, huh?"

Kristoff guffawed. "Yep!" he managed to choke out.

Anna was beet red, her head snapping back and forth between her laughing mother and annoying brother. "Wh-what?!" she stammered as they both fell into fits of laughter at the embarrassed expression on her face.

_Man, this is relaxing. How long has it been since we just sat together and teased each other?_

So despite being the butt of Kirsten's and Kristoff's jokes, Anna was much happier than she had been in a long time.

"Ladies and gentlemen," The Master of Ceremonies (MC), a portly man with an ostentatious goatee and an entirely too over-the-top maroon suit, gave the microphone a tweak, and feedback crackled through the speakers, jarring the eardrums of everyone within earshot. "Welcome to the 'Chords of Heartstrings' piano recital at the atrium of the Golden Hearts Hospital! Our guest of honour is an esteemed, prodigious pianist who started playing at the age of five, and has since gone on to play in many concerts. She has been awarded the first place in most competitions she has taken part in to become one of the most celebrated artists in the classical music scene at the tender age of 23… Please welcome on stage the star of today's event, Elsa Skylar Arendelle!"

Unlike the calm, polite applause of yesterday, today's concert had whoops and enthusiastic cheering, stomps, and claps… All credited to the one hyperactive redhead seated (currently standing and wolf-whistling) in the very front. Elsa strode on stage, wearing a simple orange hoodie and a pair of jeans. Her back was straight and proud, her bearing almost regal… if not for her right hand stifling giggles. She shot Anna a cheeky grin, which Anna returned with a playful wave. The MC then began some really forced and contrived conversation with Elsa, which Anna tried paying attention to, but…

"Holy stinkin' reindeers! That's Elsa freaking _Arendelle_! Why didn't you tell me that _your_ Elsa was _the_ Elsa Arendelle?! I've had a crush on her for forever!" Kristoff hissed in a not-so-quiet whisper to counteract the effects of sitting in the front row and having the conversation on stage blasted through the speakers drown out his words.

"Kristoff!" Anna matched his tone and his volume. "Can you stop objectifying her! She is not _mine_. And I didn't know her last name! Besides, I didn't know her before she talked to me _just_ yesterday!"

"So you invited someone into our home when you _didn't even know the person's full name!?_"

"_You don't need to know a person's full name to trust her! _And I bet you would totally invite her to our house since you have a crush on her too? But guess what? She's _mine_!_" _Anna's sentence ended in a loud, ringing yell that pierced the silence that had permeated the atrium when the conversation between the MC and Elsa ended.

Looking around, Anna realised that all eyes were on her, with varying amounts of annoyance and amusement, finally settling on Elsa's slightly stunned and flustered gaze. They looked away at the same time, both embarrassed beyond words.

Flushing a deep, beet red that bordered on purple, Anna clutched her trusty haversack to her chest and slumped as low as she could into her chair, with Kristoff barking with laughter. She nailed him in the ribs with an elbow, and his laughter gave way to a pained "Oof."

For the countless time, Kirsten shook her head in exasperation as her children's antics both amused and worried her.

The pompous MC gave a nervous laugh, cleared his throat, then invited Elsa to begin her performance. Elsa bowed—_too cute, _Anna thought _- _and took her seat by the piano. She straightened her back, her regal posture returning as her anxiety at Anna's almost-public-confession slipped away. Then harmonies and chords poured from under her slim and too-nimble fingers as she began weaving a melody so complex it sounded as if an entire orchestra was playing. Anna watched, for the first time, in wonder as Elsa swayed, caught up by the flow of her own music. Elsa was one with the music—no, Elsa _was _the music, and she was entirely too beautiful. Anna wanted to swoon.

_How many times is it humanly possible to fall in love with someone?_ Anna wondered.

Anna felt her mother's hand cup hers. With a great effort, Anna tore her eyes away from the masterpiece that was Elsa and her music. Kirsten's eyes were full of adoring love for her daughter. Kirsten smiled warmly at Anna.

"I'm happy for you, Anna… Make sure you go get her, okay, tiger?"

Anna flushed. Not only had her mother figured out her sexuality without Anna saying a word (Or maybe she did blab it out to _just _the_ entire atrium_) but her mother only approved and supported her sexuality.

That meant the world to Anna.

_Take _that_, Kristoff. Mom ships Elsanna, not Kristelsa!_

Anna rested her head on Kirsten's shoulder, turning her attention back to Elsa, eyes half lidded with contentment, only to find Elsa's eyes already on her, staring with an intense expression that Anna couldn't… Quite… place…

The realisation hit Anna with the impact of a bullet train speeding along at light speed; Elsa was silently dedicating this song to her. _Her._ Anna Marlene Bjorgman.

And it was the sweetest thing ever.

* * *

They enjoyed dinner together; Kirsten, Kristoff, Anna and Elsa all went to Anna's favourite café near the hospital. The alfresco café was quaint, and it overlooked a serene lake with a small mountain range that was still visible in slowly fading sunlight. Oaken, the café's owner, was as kind, cheerful and friendly as ever, giving them free desserts and drinks.

Anna got to know Elsa much better that day. She got to know that Elsa was an only child, with two very capable, very caring (if a little harsh at times), and very supportive fathers. She was the apple of their eyes, and they were very, very protective of her. Anna learnt that despite her already being of age, she still lives with her parents (though she definitely contributes to the household) because they are too closely knit a family. Then Elsa regaled them with how she would reject her had-been suitors (mostly men) by referring them to the strict and rigorous "screening" by her dads.

None of them (even the girls) had passed.

It made Anna a little jittery at the prospect of meeting Elsa's fathers. At first, Anna had been a little sceptical about Elsa having two fathers. Would they have been able to give Elsa the warmth and gentleness of a mother? Then she realised as Elsa spoke animatedly about her fathers with just the twinkle in her eye, that if they could raise such a polite and amazing woman such as Elsa, then Anna definitely had no issues of whether they were both men, both women, or both horses because they certainly were doing the right thing.

It was the best day that everyone in the little party had had in a while, and they parted all in high spirits, Kristoff driving off to work and Elsa giving Kirsten and Anna a lift back to the hospital before sending Anna home again. This time, Elsa stayed a tad bit longer, the two women just watching some brainless TV and soaking up the presence of the other. Anna snuck an arm around Elsa's waist, before grabbing the older woman's hand phone with an thrilled squeal of "I got it, I got it!" She jumped up and hid behind the sofa, before the lack of reaction on Elsa's side made her frown in suspicion. She pressed the unlock button on Elsa's cell and realised that it required a password.

"I… don't got it." Anna announced sheepishly as she got out from behind the couch.

Elsa's ringing laugh only served to make Anna even more awkward. "Oh, you adorable little awkward feistypants. Are you trying to give me your number… and get my number as well?" Elsa fixed her with a knowing stare.

Anna nodded, blushing as she examined her toes.

"Oh, you precious little thing. Come here." Elsa patted the space next to her on the couch. They swapped numbers, with Elsa leaning over Anna to type in her number and particulars. Then Elsa stood up to leave—it was already close to midnight.

Anna saw her to the door and actually worked up the courage to give Elsa a chaste peck on the lips and both girls blushed furiously before Elsa stammered out a slight "See you soon." And nearly ran to her car (today, it was a midnight blue Lexus RX350, a gigantic SUV). Really, that woman had a thing for cars, be they small or big.

Anna went back into the house and into bed grinning and giggling to herself.

That morning, at 4:44am, Kristoff and Anna received a call from the hospital.

Kirsten had suffered a major haemorrhagic stroke and was in emergency surgery.

* * *

A/N: Told cha to enjoy yourself while you could. I have five chapters planned in total and shit's going down and dirty for the last two chapters. Seriously. I wrote it and cried so badly a quarter into each chapter I had to stop… but maybe it's just me. Callophobia is a real thing named by me. I once received a call at 5 am on my first night home alone that my mother (who was in the hospital) had a fever/infection and had to be transferred from a community hospital to a... legit hospital. My dad had to go overseas for his business and I was left home alone overnight and that happened so... Yeah. I was scared. I was really really afraid and... alone in my (not-so) huge house.

Oh just a disclaimer, this is a fictional story set in a fictional location that I made up for the sake of… the story. So while there are inspirations for certain places, the customs are not of any particular country.

Oh and another disclaimer: This story will only describe the beginnings of Elsanna. It's just how they met and bonded over a crisis and eventually became good friends and then girlfriends. The main focus of the story will be on... you guessed it. Death.


	4. Chapter 4 Miracles and Reality

A/N: The next two chapters will be dedicated to my late grandmother, who passed away on 3rd February 2014: I love you, Ah Ma. Even though I didn't tell you when you were alive and I'm sorry your last days were filled with so much pain and I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help alleviate it. I will always remember how similarly we snuggle into our pillows when we are sleeping/ are about to sleep. I will always think of you whenever I eat pung kueh because you always made it for me every week when I was younger. I will always look at my two weird little toes and remember how I used to compare mine to yours when I was younger. Your footsteps are incredibly big to fill, and I can only hope I don't disappoint. You may not have recognised me when I grew older, but I hope you kept little me in your heart… I really hope that if we next meet, wherever we are, that we'll finally be able to talk and I can tell you about my day, and you'll be able to tell me how skinny I am.

I'm sorry I never got to say all these to you when you were alive, even if you couldn't understand me. I'm sorry I never had the guts to say it to your body before you got cremated. I just hope you can hear me, wherever you might be now.

Medical term glossary: these are to the best of my knowledge. Blame Google and my inferior memory/analytical processing if any of these are wrong. I am no medical student. I just used to be a constant visitor of patients in hospitals who Googles weird shit I notice.

Sp02: A measurement of how much oxygen there is in the bloodstream. Usually calculated in percentages (I'm not a math expert so I have no idea how that works)

Tetraplegic: Someone who is paralysed from the neck down.

* * *

"_Every woman is a story__  
__Might not always have a happy ending__  
__And every story has a history__  
__And the past is always worth remembering__." _

–_Angela Aki, Every Woman's Song._

* * *

Kai did not lie. The next months were painful. Not just to Kirsten, but to Anna and Kristoff. Kirsten suffered from two strokes as a result from her renal failure—the toxins in her body built up and so did her blood pressure, causing a blood vessel to burst in her brain.

The first stroke took part of Kirsten's memories—things that happened in recent years became void to her—When Anna went to the hospital to visit her the next day, Kirsten could not remember nor recognise her.

"Hi!" Kirsten chirped happily, if not a little weakly. "Are you the new social worker?"

Anna's voice clogged in her throat, and only after swallowing deeply numerous times was she able to regain her voice and composure.

Anna nodded "Yes, Mrs Bjorgmen, I'm Anna… Arendelle." Anna said the first surname she remembered and offered a smile, as cheerful as she could muster, even though her heart twisted achingly as she said that. What was it with her and acting all cheerful in front of her own mother.

"Call me Kirsten, Anna… Ah, Anna. My little baby girl is called Anna too, you know? Anna Marlene Bjorgman, and she's as cute as her name sounds." Kirsten's eyes shone with pride and unshed tears. "She looks like you too… Strawberry blonde, aquamarine eyes…Only she's just twelve this year and so much younger than you… Do you want to know more about her?"

Anna bit the inside of her lip… hard, nodded.

"Yes… She's like my little ray of sunshine," Kirsten smiled. "She's only twelve, but she's always cheerful and lively. Very responsible, too. Always does her chores without complaining. Sure, sometimes she messes up more than what she cleans up, but that's just her, you know? So full of life and cheer… she could make the most depressed person smile. She's kind too. Always thinks that everybody is part of one big family." Kirsten smiled, gazing off into the distance as she reminisced about her daughter. "I just hope that Kristoff, my son and her older brother, can look after her when I'm gone. He's really protective of her, but he's only sixteen, and so young… Can he take care of her when I'm no longer here? Sometimes I really thank the heavens that I have two marvellous children, but I can't help but worry about them after I'm gone… They'll be orphaned, you know? I mean, Anna never knew her father, and they've always depended on me for everything… Especially Anna. She gets so deeply attached to people she walks behind for five minutes, that silly girl. What is she going to do without me?"

Anna really couldn't control the tears streaming down her cheeks now. There was a red hot iron poker just twisting her insides painfully.

Kirsten continued, unaware of Anna's reaction to her words, "She's so muddle headed, I don't think she'll remember to get her favourite chocolate cakes from that deli two blocks down every Sunday. Then she'll suffer from withdrawal and just slump on the couch and just growl the entire day…" Kirsten giggled, then turned to face Anna. "Are—Are you okay?!"

"You… You just… reminded me of my own mother, that's all. Sometimes, when she gets mad at me because I'm so clumsy, I don't know if she loves or hates me, but…"

"Shh…" Kirsten hushed her. "Of course your mother loves you. I can assure you that. My Anna is as clumsy as a whale on a tightrope, but I love her to bits. Sometimes we lose patience with those we love because… because they have always been by our sides, unwaveringly and unfailingly. Because they have seen us at our best and our worst. They've seen us when we're strong, when we're weak, and when we absolutely need them. Then we snap because sometimes closeness does that to people. Your mother loves you, Anna, I'm sure she loves you as much as I love my Anna. So don't worry about that."

Anna stared at Kirsten's gaze that was so full of concern, and she couldn't resist asking.

"What if… she forgets me? Or who I am?"

Kirsten's eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected question, still holding Anna's eyes, searching, looking, probing.

And then something flowed through that connection. For a moment, Anna saw recognition, muted and faint, but still present, in her mother's gaze. Confusion, suspicion, and denial came a second later.

"I… A mother… never forgets, Anna. I—your mother, that is, will always love you."

Anna managed a watery smile. "Thank you, Kirsten. I really needed that."

Kirsten gave her signature gentle smile, and Anna's restraint broke. "Can- can I hug you?" Her voice was cracking madly, and tears flowed unrestrained down her cheeks.

"Of course you can."

Anna's embraces had never been gentle. She tackled the woman (who had tubes and needles stuck into all sorts of different places, mind you.) in a fierce, warm hug that probably crushed the poor woman. She sobbed into Kirsten's chest, the familiar scent of her mother already washed away by the harsh chemicals in the hospital. Kirsten's arms wrapped around Anna, stroking her hair softly. Anna closed her eyes and let the gentle touch of her mother soothe her, just like it did when she was a little child, treasuring the touch and committing it to memory because this just might be the last time she got to hold her mother and hear her heart beating a steady rhythm in her chest.

When she finally got a hold of her emotions, Anna broke away slowly.

"I—I'm so sorry, I—"

"Hey hey hey, it's no problem! Now that you know everything, I have a favour to ask you… can you make sure that my children are under the guardiansh-"

Just then, the legitimate social worker came in, spotting Anna behind her inch-thick glasses. "Ms Bjorgm—"

"Velma!" Anna jumped up and cut the orange clad lady off, frantically wiping tears away. "You're late! Mrs Bjorgman was just telling me about her children. Anna's twelve and Kristoff's sixteen, you know?" Anna prayed that Velma would get the message.

Apparently Velma was quite intelligent. After some initial confusion, her jaw popped open in surprise. Then she fixed Anna with a knowing and unbelievably sympathetic stare.

Anna swallowed, unable to handle Velma's pity. Arranging her features into a smile, she turned back to Kirsten. "Kirsten, I'm sorry but my colleague, Velma Dinkley, was the social worker assigned to you. I just popped by because… well, I'm sorry but I saw your file and wanted to meet you because you reminded me so much of my mother." Anna's voice cracked on the last word. "I'll leave you in her capable hands. And I'm sorry for intruding…"

Kirsten smiled gently, then hesitated before finally deciding to say, "No problem, Anna. Pop by anytime. It was nice talking to you. You remind me so much of my Anna, and I can only hope that she grows up to be such a great contribution to society like you are."

That did it. Utterly choked up and trying desperately to hold her tears back, Anna mumbled a soft "Goodbye," and fled the room, running to the staircase, which was, thankfully, deserted. There she cried, loudly and uncaringly, burying her face in her hands.

She called Elsa and just wept into the phone, needing the company even though Elsa was in a really important meeting and couldn't physically be there with Anna. Elsa didn't know what to say, and just stayed on the phone with her.

* * *

The second stroke was worse—much, much worse. It left Kirsten a tetraplegic. Any words that tried to leave her was garbled by her paralysed throat muscles. She had to be tube fed, and thus lost much muscle mass. Her limbs curled up from the lack of use, her appendages curled in awkward positions and only her open eyes betrayed that she was, in fact, awake. They stared around the hospital room, and sometimes, just staring aimlessly up at the ceiling fan.

Unlike what some hear in movies or read in books, there was no sudden, miraculous gleam of recognition in Kirsten's eyes when she saw Anna and Kristoff. There was no emotion, and honestly, Anna found herself yearning for just _some_ emotion to leak out from Kirsten so Anna would be able to at least try understanding what her mother needed.

Anna often wondered, during her visits, of what Kirsten was thinking about. Was she frustrated being trapped in bed all day, everyday? When her eyes followed her visitors around; was Kirsten able to recognise anyone? Did she have anything to say…that she couldn't?

After a few months, Kirsten was attached to a ventilator, and a heartbeat monitor— Water had accumulated in her heart and lungs, making it difficult for Kirsten to breathe. The whirring machine pumped oxygen into Kirsten's lungs, but even so, Kirsten gasped for breath, lungs heaving jerkily, weakly. A constant beeping annoyed the begeezus out of Anna. It came from the ventilator.

_What the heck is the SpO2 level? Is 69% a good thing or a bad thing?_

After some digging around on Google, Anna decided that having only 69% of oxygen in your bloodstream was definitely _not_ a good thing. Where was Kai to explain these things? She forced her rising panic down.

"Hey Mops…" Anna cooed gently. "Do you want me to turn the fan off? Are you too cold?"

Blank eyes stared at her, then blinked.

"Okay, let's try this… If you want me to keep the fan on, blink once. If you want me to turn it off, blink twice."

Blank eyes turned to the ceiling fan, unblinking.

Anna grew slightly frustrated; talking to someone who does not, who cannot reply was… even more emotionally draining than having someone yell at you for no reason...

"Can you understand me at all?!" Anna's voice was raised, tears forming in her eyes again. "Just… give me a sign that you know me! That you know I'm here! Anything!"

Kirsten looked at everything…except Anna.

Anna wanted to rant, to rave, to grip her mother by her shoulders and shake her until she met Anna's eyes and just show some sign that Kirsten was still in that body. Instead, she just slumped down in the visitor's chair, holding her face in her hands

Sure, eyes could be expressive… But only for actors with an exceptional skill at bringing forth emotions through their eyes for the big screen to see, or when perfectly healthy people feel unbelievably sad... Tetraplegics don't express that well. One could stare an eternity into those eyes that _screamed_ and not be able to discern anything.

Life isn't what we see in movies. Reality isn't so kind. Sometimes, there are no miracles, no matter how hard we pray for one. Sometimes, there is no closure, only a barrage of 'what if's and 'If only…'s.

Gerda walked over to Anna, throwing a comforting arm around Anna's shoulders and handing her a piece of tissue. "I called Kristoff… and like I said, Anna. I'm sure she's still in there somewhere."

"Is she?" Anna's voice was hopeless.

Gerda, the optimist, hesitated. "I- I'm sure she is, Anna. Somewhere."

Anna nodded, just to placate Gerda. Gerda patted Anna's shoulders and walked away. Anna peeked at Kirsten.

Kirsten had already fallen asleep, her head lolling on a pillow, her mouth wide open. And in a small, almost imperceptible move, she cuddled her face into the pillow, a move that Anna recognised from the times when she slept with her mother. In the depths of her grief, Anna smiled.

Maybe her mother really was still in there, somewhere.

* * *

**The next day:**

"Hey Anna…" Olaf, her best childhood friend and own personal cuddle-bear sat down next to her in the lecture theatre. "You still can make a run for it now, you know. Just cut class today. You should definitely go visit your mum. "

Anna smiled weakly. "She'll hang in there, Olaf. She has for these few months... I'm sure she can handle just a few more hours. I can't afford to miss another lesson, or my grades will suffer."

"I know you're a good student, Anna, but… your mother…"

Anna took out her notes and her textbook. "No, Olaf." She said curtly as the professor dimmed the lights.

"If you're sure…"

The lesson went off without a hitch. Anna took notes, painstakingly noting down what her professor said, but nothing went into her head. The moment her professor dismissed them, Anna stuffed everything in her bag and headed off, muttering a soft "Bye." to her friends.

She ran to the bus stop, rejecting nature's call. She had plenty of time to visit the bathroom when she reached the hospital. She checked the time; it was 5:04pm when the bus arrived. It would take her an hour to get to the hospital.

_Hang in there, Mops. For me. Please. I know you can do it._

Anna sighed, put on her earpiece, and started listening to upbeat songs to try cheering herself. After a while, she just gave up selecting songs and just let the randomiser do it's job.

After alighting from the bus, Anna ran to the train station, the train arrived at exactly 5:27pm. Only when the train was speeding along at a relatively fast speed did she allow herself to relax just a tad, listening to the song currently playing, ballad that paid tribute to the women of the world…

"_And every woman is a journey, we are always right where we belong…"_

She jumped when Kristoff's voice started singing "Reindeers are better than people" halfway into her trip. She whipped out her phone—it was 5:43pm-, and answered it. Kristoff's voice was emptier than usual.

"Hey, Anna…? Just a heads up… She's gone."

Anna's heart thudded to a stop. The world… came to a smattering, silent halt as well.

"Okay, Toffy, I'll see you in the hospital." Anna was really proud of her steady voice. Wow. She even managed to sound cheerful.

Only when she hung up did she allow the darned tears to fall… again.

"_Hearts can guide us, hearts can blind us. Still, we carry one…"_

Anna had never been particularly religious, but for the first time, through all the chaos in her mind, Anna prayed with all her heart that her mother, wherever she was, would be able to hear her.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I should have skipped that class… But I am nearly there…. Why couldn't you wait just fifteen more minutes for me? You've made it this far, haven't you?_

"_Thank you to the mothers and the daughters of my soul."_

Reality crashed down on her. She didn't see her mother for the last time; the mother who had raised her nigh single-handedly… all because she refused to skip her damned class. And here she was, hoping fervently, that she might get her thoughts to her dead mother if she'd thought words intensely enough. In the dark abyss that was her emotions… Anna gave an ironic, furious chuckle for her own stupidity.

This time, everyone in the train saw the redhead breakdown, but nobody cared.

* * *

A/N: …I'm sorry?

**Replies to reviews:** For those of you who reviewed using your account, check your inbox!

**Frozenfractals:** I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully our grandmothers have met (wherever they are) and are currently enjoying tea and swapping embarrassing stories of us. Thanks for your concern, my mother is currently at home and much better now.

**Guest:** I'm sorry about your feels. Here. Have a virtual, imaginary KitKat as compensation (and that's about all the help I can provide…Sorry.)


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